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ON LOVE:"It's time to disengage ourselves from the turbulence of living with emotions, our senses saturated with feelings, and to accept that love--the living, enduring kind--can be there no matter what the temperature of the heart may be."- Harold SalaReminder to self:"Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself."- Abraham Joshua Heschel
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Saturday, 07-07-07, was Aris and Patz's wedding day. The day was a celebration of love, and family, and friends. It was a beautiful, beautiful affair. The bride was radiant! Some of the bridesmaids, myself included, had about an hour of sleep from the night before due to some last-minute preparations, so kinailangang daanin sa attitude para lumitaw pa rin ang kagandahan. (Ria actually had to confront me with a crucial question at around 2am: "Sis, kaya pa ba ng attitude ito?" Hahahaha!) Mabuti na lang di nag-iisa ang attitude namin sa effort na pagandahin kami; salamat Edgar!!!
Posted at 7/9/2007 10:52:17 am by all_kaput
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Nearly 5 months after my embarrassing, melodramatic birthday entries (seemingly brought about by a huge mood swing that thankfully went the opposite direction a couple of hours later), allow me to recount a number of FIRSTs since I turned 30:
First HOSPITAL CONFINEMENT AND SURGERY: Goodbye, appendix! First HOSPITALIZATION FOR SUPERHON as well: Hello diabetes! Back to back weekends at the hospital for us (he first, then I). Ang saya. First COMMUNICATION WORKSHOP attended: Realized I need to do breathing exercises :) First TOTAL "HAIR-OVER," still as a result of the comm workshop...Realized that I could actually do something to start looking my age. First ZAMBOANGA TRIP: Was sadly (stupidly, truth to tell) disappointed not to see vintas or anything distinctly "Zamboangan!" First BOAT RIDE FROM DUMAGUETE TO CEBU: Actually stayed in my bunk till an hour after the ship had docked; thought we were still in the middle of the ocean! By the time I got off the crew was already sweeping the floors and most of the bedcovers had been removed. Haha. First DUMAGUETE VACATION: Have been traveling to Dumaguete for years, but always for work. This time I was actually able to enjoy it, with Superhon, the Super Sisters, and our great hosts, Tere and Cookie--love you mga kapatid!!First ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC US EMBASSY INTERVIEW: The consul actually said, "Now you can visit whenever you want." Need I say more? (wink) First AWAKENING OF THE LITTLE BOY INSIDE OF ME: All thanks to Optimus Prime and the kick-ass movie of the year!First NATIONAL TELEVISION INTERVIEW: I don't think too many people saw it, though. Simultaneous on 3 channels, pero NBN, RPN and IBC yun, at 7:30 in the morning pa on a national holiday!! First BRIDESMAID STINT: Happening tomorrow...All the best to Patz and Aris! First REAL VIEW OF THE POSSIBILITY OF FINISHING MY MSW: I think it just might really happen, finally, this school year. 8 years in the making!!First time TO HOLD 2 JOBS: Am actually holding the same job now, but I've been tasked to take on another program that used to take up a whole, separate post. So I have become Curacha--ang babaeng walang pahinga. The development is equally daunting and rewarding...and has been allowing me very little time to sleep.
All in all it's been great, so far...So ya, I guess being 30 isn't so bad after all. :-)
Posted at 7/6/2007 10:14:18 am by all_kaput
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Thursday, February 15, 2007 |
Just realized how my last two entries contradict each other.
I think I'm going crazy.
Posted at 2/15/2007 11:38:19 am by all_kaput
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Maybe it's just a phase I'm going through. Maybe it's just hormones because it's almost that time of the month again. Maybe it's some sort of birthday depression that happens to everyone who turns 30. Whatever.
I just know that I feel like mourning. Mourning for the used-to-be impassioned spirit which, I realize, has been gradually dissipating for some time now.
I want to feel alive again. I want to save what little is left of that spirit, and perhaps even make it burn again. It's too early in the game for me to be a tired, old woman.
Sometimes I can be such a drama queen. (Sigh)
Posted at 2/15/2007 11:16:53 am by all_kaput
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Friday, February 09, 2007 |
In six days I shall be crossing a frontier. Turning over to the dark, wrinkled side. Hitting the big, inevitable 3-0. OH. MY. DEAR. LORD.
Remember those days when your 30-year old aunts and uncles would come, and you'd think they were so ancient? Now I can't reconcile that perception with how I feel about myself. At almost-30(operative word: ALMOST), I feel like I'm still such a baby!! I look at the world and feel like there's still so much for me to discover, so many things for me to take on and a whole lot of time ahead of me. Then one look at the calendar and the truth yells at me: I am not so young anymore!
Still, the number may be hanging over my head, but it's still not sinking in. I may be finding it more difficult to lose weight now, but other than that one thing, I'd like to think that I am still all youthful. Like an old teacher used to say, it's all in the mind :-D
Posted at 2/9/2007 9:56:42 am by all_kaput
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Wednesday, February 07, 2007 |
After working 8 days straight (and even some nights within that period), I declared a rest day for myself yesterday. And wouldn't you know, my over-fatigued Superhon was feeling out of the weather, so he gave himself a holiday as well! So there we were, a couple of knocked out, old-young kids finally getting a chance to spend an entire day at home. It was actually quite strange, this little break, as it had only been a couple of weeks since we took a vacation (celebrated our 1st anniversary joining the Sinulog festival in Cebu and frolicking at Malapascua Island!) -- and yet, as if to punish ourselves for having a bit of fun, we both jumped into Stressland right upon returning to Manila, so it didn't take long for us to feel burnt out again.
Anyway, it was great, having leisurely meals, lying on the couch in front of the television all day, and not even getting up to take a shower (slobby, smelly little sloths!!). I wonder when we'll get to do that again?
Posted at 2/7/2007 8:40:42 am by all_kaput
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I'm in a rut.
I know there's so much that I should be doing here at work, but I'm hardly accomplishing anything.
And I'm in such a foul mood! Grrrr!!!!
Posted at 1/8/2007 2:57:04 pm by all_kaput
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Wednesday, January 03, 2007 |
On New Year's Eve (and day after Rizal Day) I found at Mum's place a copy of In Excelsis: The Mission of Jose P. Rizal, Humanist and Philippine National Hero by Felice Sta. Maria. I became immediately engrossed, and would've finished it in one sitting if we had not been preparing for a party. Here's a quote from Pepe that quite blew me away:
"It is a useless life that is not consecrated to a great ideal. It is like a stone wasted on the field without becoming a part of any edifice."
I had always been partial to Bonifacio, but I am beginning now to have a deeper appreciation of Rizal. Will write more once I've finished the book.
Posted at 1/3/2007 1:47:56 pm by all_kaput
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The day I arrived from Banaue, I had another "Banawe" episode. It started with the family going to Shang mall in Ortigas and having an eventful (Cherry-filled) lunch at Cyma (currently my favorite restaurant and possibly the best Greek resto around--thanks to Ciela and Manding for this great find!). Tummies overly filled, we decided to walk a few meters to Starbucks, where Superhon completed our second sticker card that entitled us to our second Starbucks planner. Myke eagerly surveyed the planner, but found that it was missing a pen that was supposed to be there. Then on the first page was a handwritten name: Daniella Flores. We started laughing as we handed the planner back to the crew; apparently it had been pre-owned, or pre-"broken and entered," hahaha! The crew apologized, and handed us another planner. This time it was missing a notepad! At that point we couldn't help exclaiming, "Starbucks Banawe yata 'to e!" Superhon even joked that if you needed a specific spare part for your planner, you could just tell the crew and point at which planner you'd like them to "source" the part. Harharharhar!!!
At the end of it though, we all had but one lingering question: Who on earth is Daniella Flores?!?!?!" Heeheehee...
Posted at 1/3/2007 10:21:02 am by all_kaput
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I started traveling to Banaue on the evening of Dec 26, and needless to say I wasn't exactly thrilled to be spending the days between Christmas and New Year working. I was also quite certain that I wouldn't even have time to go around and see the rice terraces! Still, I did feel a bit excited to go to Banaue for the first time.
Apparently, I had been wrong to think that I was ready for the cold with my 2 jackets, scarf and bonnet--I realized too late that I needed gloves as well: it was so freaking cold up there! Had I known better I also would've brought a water heater: I especially dreaded the shower, which I inevitably had to confront every morning. Like I told Superhon, on my first encounter with the water I got confused as to whether I was bathing or torturing myself. Happily I had a little comic relief with a sign posted on the bathroom door: "Please do not throw your tissue, napkins or any hard objects (like socks, underwears, etc.) in the toilet. Thank you." Hehehehe.
The workshops and focus group discussions with children were actually fun and enriching, but I missed Superhon and was eager to go back home. On our last day, I was ecstatic to find out that we had spare time enough to visit The Viewpoint and have a good look at the rice terraces, and that Kuya Roland was more than happy to drive us there. Yun nga lang it was drizzling, and when we got there, all I could see was fog--so anticlimactic!!! I fell in love with all the products that were sold there, though, so it was still worth the drive.
Far from what I had expected, the worst part of the trip turned out to be our way home. Our bus was delayed 2 1/2 hours, which meant that all passengers had to sit/stand around in the very cold and dark outdoors for 3 hours (of course, we all followed the regulation of arriving in the terminal at least 20 minutes before the schedule of departure). On our second hour it was both funny and tragic how we all received news that our bus, which was traveling from Tuguegarao, was half an hour away...but had run out of fuel. The fuel had to be purchased and then brought to the bus, which meant a little over half an hour before the bus could even get the fuel, and another half hour or so before it can reach us. When it finally, finally did, and we finally, finally boarded around 8 pm, we realized that the temperature was even lower inside the bus--it had to be, to keep the windshield from misting! So we all ended up looking like a sitcom scene (it's like the sort of thing you'd see on Seinfeld): everybody sharing electrical tape and covering the aircon vents with paper/bus drapes (the inside of the bus looked like a little shantytown); people putting on their bonnets and scarves and gloves and extra jackets and even sleeping bags; and everyone taking turns complaining and finding something funny to say about our plight. When the bus finally got going, we thought things would go smoothly and we could all just go sleep, but noooooo....! We actually stopped about 7 times (apart from 2 scheduled stopovers)--as in tumitirik ang bus! I started contemplating that it could be the end of me when the driver, during one of the stops, actually took out a huge toolbox and started rummaging through it like crazy. And we were in the middle of nowhere, in the dead of the night! Ang saya talaga.
We did survive the trip, and we did arrive in Manila eventually. Buti na lang, kasi sayang yung kwento kung na-deds kami lahat! :-)
Posted at 1/3/2007 9:11:27 am by all_kaput
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